When there is one less this Christmas season

silhouette of trees under starry night

The first holiday after a family death is disorienting. The usual practices of the seasons are happening around you – parties, gatherings, celebrations – but you find that sometimes you either go through the motions or want to just run and hide from it all.

Gathering together when your family is fractured by death feels out of sync. The usual rhythms that you were once used to have to be re-coordinated, new roles assumed, and traditions shift.

In times like these, when you are no longer as you once were and those who remain are trying to find their way – this is a time to gather in holy defiance.

Death, though it has lost it’s final battle over eternity, still gets it’s punches in while we walk this earth. The enemy continues to pull us away from hope and the promise of life in heaven. It likes to tug at us in our grief, pulling us into despair.

We could choose to let the Christmas celebrations go to the wayside. We may very well want to stay away from the cheery crowds and joyful celebrations. Or perhaps you’re joining in the merriment – the cookie making, the gift giving, and the carol singing. You’re going through the motions but they’re not necessarily coming from the heart.

And that can make the feeling even worse because you know the real reason to celebrate. You know that Jesus is the reason for the season. You know it but you just aren’t feeling it.

Believe it or not, this season is for you. This is exactly why Jesus came.

He didn’t come for the happy, the healthy, and the no-care-in-the-world.

He came for the sorrowful, the sick, and the low.

It was for those walking in darkness – THEY saw a great Light. It was for the poor in spirit, the downtrodden, and those who have lost hope.

What if we saw our choice to gather, despite our feelings, as an act of holy defiance? A stand-up against all the things the enemy wants our life to be consumed with? He wants isolation, pain, loneliness, and heartache. We can choose fellowship, hope, and healing.

If you’re feeling low, if this Christmas is a bit harder to conjure up the cheer, please, take heart. Spend a moment in quiet, celebrating in stillness the joy of a Savior made flesh, dwelling among us. Allow yourself time to grieve what once was. There is goodness found even in the house of mourning. He brought hope in the dark, quiet night all those years ago in Bethlehem. And He can bring hope to your heart, too. Jesus isn’t looking for the most festive and joyful Christmas spirit. He desires the hearts that come to Him broken, knowing He can heal.

top view of a family praying before christmas dinner

He wants hearts tuned to him, even when they’re broken. Hearts looking to Him, the true joy-giver. Hearts that know that the only hope, the only path to healing, is found in the Hope of Jesus. Hope came all those years ago in a small stable, and it’s still available for each of today.

So, this year, will you join with us who keep going forward despite the heartache? Who look up to the sky with expectant hope of our coming Jesus? Will you celebrate this Christmas in holy defiance to all that the enemy is trying to steal?

We may do it with tears glistening in our eyes, but we’ll also have a spark of joy in our hearts. Because we can take comfort in the words of the prophet Isaiah who spoke of the coming Messiah with the same holy defiance, despite the darkness that surrounded him –

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has Light shone ✨ Isaiah 9:2

10 responses

  1. Love this post! I lost my husband 2 years ago and I still miss him terribly especially around holidays like Christmas. Your post lifted my spirit. Thanks so much, friend, that you found strength to write in your grief and loss!

    1. Thank you for your encouragement. I’m so glad to hear that this lifted your spirit. You know all too well the need for us to celebrate in holy defiance.

  2. Nichole, I love your post and though there are tears there is holy defiance because Jesus came for us. So beautifully penned. ❤🙏 The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has Light shone ✨ Isaiah 9:2.

    1. That verse gives me a thrill of hope every time I read it!

  3. Your timing is perfect! Thank you for sharing this beautiful reminder! 🙂❤️💚

    1. so glad that it blessed you!

  4. I have known what it is like to walk in “holy defiance” during the holidays due to losing a loved one. Thank you for this post. It is a wonderful reminder that we don’t walk in our strength but in His.

    1. thank you for reading! I’m so glad you were encouraged.

  5. Renee Mora Avatar
    Renee Mora

    Thank you for this. I lost my mom 4 months ago and though her passing was not entirely unexpected, the randomness of grief is, especially as Christmas approaches. Your reminder from Isaiah is especially grounding and comforting!

    1. Renee, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad that these words could give a bit of hope and comfort amidst the grief.

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As a coach, writer, and speaker, Nichole helps Christian women embrace the unfolding of God’s work in them, finding peace and purpose through intentional living. Together, they lean into His quiet leading, discovering strength and clarity in the refining spaces of grace. Nichole’s passion is to equip women to release overwhelm and walk with confidence in the life God has called them to.

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